Here We Go Black and Gold (by Brutus)

I knew there would be some time to kill today. Parts for “the Rev” were late coming in and we’re still parked here in Lakeland. I’m lovin’ it as I sit for most of the day gazing out the window. There must  be two dozen cats living in these parts. Robin calls them feral but I think they’re furry. They’re just not very friendly. They don’t want to play and everytime I go outside they just snarl and their yellow eyes start to glow as if tea lights behind them fire up. It’s not long after breakfast that I get this gnawing in the pit of my stomach. I hear Larry talking about having to fly back to Pittsburgh to take care of some banking business. My heart sinks. I hate when they fly somewhere. I never get to go. They think I can’t fit. I’m relegated to staying at the Banfield Hotel, tucked neatly within the Petsmart store. Don’t get me wrong. This is a swank place. But I don’t cotton well to other dogs. I’m pretty much of a loner and when the hotel guards retrieve me from my room,  they put me in a gym with others and expect me to play with them. But alas! I hear Larry saying something about driving to the airport to check out possibilties. Robin smiles so I know this may be a good thing. I’m just going to lay in the backseat, lick myself, and see what they talk about. In less than an hour, we’re entering the short term parking lot. I see Igor Sikorsky’s name all over the place. Down on the elevator and it opens to a whole new world. Tons of people with little kids all standing single file for reasons unknown to me. It must be a Southwest store as they have their signs everywhere. A young lady leads us through a maze of fat ropes hooked to pee poles. Larry takes me in his arms and holds me up to a lady behind a computer. He asks her if I can fit on a ride to Pittsburgh. She tells him to hold on and leaves to go in the backroom. In a few minutes, out she comes with what looks like a new bed for me. I’m hoping. It’s even in Steeler colors. They unzip it and put me in. I’m not sure what to make of all this. My head gets tucked in. I feel like one of those turtle things. Robin zips up the sides and all I can see is a bunch of legs through the mesh that surrounds me. But I hear laughter and see Robin smiling. Hell, Larry is even grinning from ear to ear as the lady from behind the computer says he’s good to fly. OH!  that’s me. I get to go now. I get to fly when they go to Pittsburgh. Or anywhere else for that matter.  I hated when they left me for the wedding. No more Petsmart hotels. Not for this guy. I am beside myself.  I’m going to get in that new bed in the backseat and sleep, pausing only for a lick here and there. I don’t care where they go now. I’m tagging along, bucco. These folks of mine sure know how to treat a guy.