My Job

[ad]

I’ve often been asked by both my fellow workampers endeavoring in the retail business, along with many readers, just what the hell it is that I do on the golf course. I thought I’d take a minute to explain. My job is that of Starter. Each morning I procure a printed sheet of the golfers’ names and their starting tee times. I position my cart and myself adjacent to the first tee. I greet and welcome all arriving clientele. I review the cart traffic with them, go over the course rules and particularly remind them of the environmentally sensitive areas on three of the holes up in the Badlands. Environmentally sensitive is a nicely couched term meaning ‘stay out’. I have only seen a half dozen bull snakes there so far but the rattlers have managed to conceal themselves from my eyes to this point in time. Bull snakes very much resemble ‘rattlers’ without the “castaneda tails”. However, the locals tell me that their bite isn’t poisonous. Nevertheless, any snake that bites, even the garter, sends enough fear through my senses that I avoid them at all costs.
Following the “rules oratory”, I send each set of golfers out at approximate intervals of ten minutes. This alleviates bottlenecks on the course and allows play to flow smoothly. This is of course, if you’re dealing with the average linkster. Occasionally, slow play will creep in as a result of beer, liquor, or too many lost balls. When there is no one scheduled to “tee off”, my duties become one of Ranger(ing). In my trusty cart I patroll the course, moving play along in an expeditious manner, and make admonishments when necessary. This patrolling allows me time to photograph, commiserate with fellow employees or just bask in the glory of my surroundings. Not a bad job–eh!!