A Bit of A Scare

Yesterday’s weather was a bit on the crisp side but the sunshine was abundant and illuminated the crimson and pumpkin shades of the diverse hillsides.  This would be a day for a ride on the two-wheeler.  I had errands to run, mailing a birthday card to my niece, dropping off a prescription for Robin, stopping by the motorcycle shop to check out the latest bling-bling.  Then it was on to Pittsburgh to Bernie’s Photo Store as I was having some problems with the back of my Mamiya 645.  That’s a medium format film camera that I purchased this past spring and am just starting to learn to use.  I’m all digital but somewhat of a purist and the throwback to the film of yesteryear poses quite a feat for me to try and master.  The last stop planned was a trip to Barnes and Noble.  I just love those moleskine little notebooks to keep track of what I’m doing and what’s needed to be done.  Hemingway made them famous years ago when he used them for his incessant notes. Since the weather was brisk I had donned a coat and when zippered it had constantly pressed on my throat. Not a good thing when you have a plastic projectile emanating from the same space.  I had noticed upon leaving the bookstore that my trache was protuding out more than usual. It was also a bit flimsy and cast downward which had me a bit concerned.  I would ride the half hour home and hope that Robin had arisen from her sleep to adjust what I perceived as a minor problem. Returning home I beat it to the bathroom mirror and things were just not right.  The trache was out too far and lying a bit askew.   However, my somnambulent wife was still asleep after a long day’s journey into the night shift at work.  I decided that she would awake upon her own.  I would rest in the recliner and watch the early evening news until she joined me.  It was then that I settled in the lazy boy and lit up the big screen.  A moment later a tickle in my throat invited a major cough.  And then the scare.  The end result of that hefty cough found my trache being projected right out of my throat and into my shirt.  I picked it from the floor and rushed to the bathroom mirror again.  Too much blood.  Hard to see into the hole in my throat.  Time to gather up some Q-tips, peroxide and a flashlight.  Cleaning the orifice and shining the Magnum on my throat I could see that this was going to be no picnic.  Try as I might I could not manage getting the trache back into my throat.  Time for Plan B.  Wake up the nurse, she’ll be able to come to my rescue.  I think the blood frightened Robin a bit on her waking.  I probably should have prepared her in a better manner but time was of the essence.  After several attempts she could only get the tube past the first layer of skin.  There was no way it was going into the windpipe area as it should.  Call the surgeon’s office.  That didn’t work as it was after five and the office staff was gone.  Call the surgeon’s personal cell phone.  A nurse answered as Dr. Goldberg was in the midst of surgery.  He stated to come directly to the emergency room and page him.  Now is that luck or what?  What if he hadn’t been in surgery?  What if he was with his family, in a movie, at the mall, or out of town?  The gods smile upon me daily.  We beat it to the emergency room and after putting up with the bureaucratic tape and the annoying questions, I was escorted to a room.  Bad news on the horizon now.  The ER doctor came in to see what he could do.  Not only did he not know what to do, he attempted to put the trache in backwards………twice, until he finally admitted that this was all new to him.  Dr. Goldberg, my personal cancer surgeon shortly thereafter came down from surgery to meet my needs.  In a matter of minutes, he had the trache back in.  And the pain was only intense for a short time so I was thankful for that.  This guy is a life saver and I would put my life in his hands again and again.  The wait to leave the hospital and signing the exit papers took more time that the entire procedure.  By nine o’ clock we were home and it was nothing ever had happened.  As I’ve said time and time again, I have to be one of the luckiest men in the world.  The gods smile once again.